jack bauer

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-There are two hands that can beat the royal flush. Jack Bauer's right hand and Jack Bauer's left hand.
-If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".
-Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he is sitting in a wheel chair.
-Jack Bauer broke into the Russian consulate and got captured because he thought it would be fun to compare russians prison with chinesse prison
-Jack Bauer never retreats,he just attacks in the opposite directions
-Once someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke.Jack Bauer found out who was there,who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was
-Jack Bauer doesn't like Chuck Norris
-If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions,it would be called "12"
-On a high school math test,Jack Bauer put down "violence" as everyone of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with violence
-When Jack Bauer says, "I don't know if i can do this anymore", the statement must be loosely translated as, "I can still rip off your head,I just don't know if i fell like i can shit down your neck at this time."
-Jack once shot himself 10 times,just to prove 50 cent is a bitch. He proceeded to wrestle and aligator while talking to Chloe about schematics.
-The 2007 budget fot the US military covers Jack Bauer,two pistols anda four billion rounds of ammunition.
-Jack Bauer played Kiefer Sutherland
-Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer.
-Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nucler bomb went off
-When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo,he caught 3 bullets in his chest and use them to reload.
-Jack Bauer can't be stop with crypton